WITHDRAWAL

The medication that helps me to feel balanced and emotionally stable can cause serious side effects when or if I decide to completely stop taking the medication. The side effects will come into focus full force. That means I might experience severe headaches, upset stomach, shaking or trembling, erratic thinking, fuzzy mind, etc. Although I have never had these problems because I have never gone off medication “cold turkey” I understand that it is true. I have had trouble with migraine headaches in the past and they are not fun. Why would I chance a serious headache, or for that matter any thing else, by going off all my medication all at once?

WHEN YOU MISS A DOSE

There are some times that you miss medication for some reason or other. For me it is usually when I am out of town and we get home later than expected. When this occurs I normally anticipate getting home early enough to take my meds at the normal time. I usually miss my evening medication. If I have to drive home late at night—3:00 or 4:00 AM---I know that I will be more alert if I miss the Seroquel. I may do this intentionally in order to stay awake so I won’t fall asleep at the wheel.

When I do this for that night and only that night I am on a manic high and recognize why I am reacting that way. It feels good and I can see why people want to get off the meds but as the mind races the serotonin level decreases and eventually the old symptoms return. The next day I go back to my regular meds and realize that it will take one or two days until I am back on schedule. I don’t advocate doing this, but when and if you miss a dose go right back on schedule with the next scheduled time for medication. Don’t fall into the mindset that you can handle it without the meds unless you are on the doctor’s orders.

HALLUCINATIONS

Personally this is something that I have never experienced but I know someone who had this problem. The young man was a Rhodes Scholar who got up to the last semester and then decided that he just couldn’t finish college. Naturally his parents were upset but there didn’t seem any way to convince their son to change his mind. When he went into counseling he was having hallucinations; a sign of the more advanced form of Bipolar. It took several weeks before the medication took effect and the hallucinations disappeared.

Reaching a point where he felt better, the young man went off his medication. Wrong choice. He went into a downward spiral and the hallucinations came back, only more pronounced this time. He had to get back on his meds and spend 6 weeks in the hospital to get everything corrected. However, he hadn’t learned yet the importance of staying on medication. He went off his meds again and had to repeat the time spent in the hospital. Each time the hallucinations were stronger.

Moral of the experience: Each time you go off your medication the harder it is to get back on track. When the symptoms return they are stronger than when you were on a balanced regular dose of medication. No matter how you feel, especially when you feel at the top of the world, don’t quit or change anything.

MEDICATION AGAIN

I have struggled over the past few weeks to try to understand why I feel so good for about 3-4 days then just lose interest in things. I now understand what is going on. I was to take Effexor XL every day rotating the dosage. 225 mg. one day; 300 mg. the next day. After spending 3-4 days on the higher dosage when I dropped to 225 mg. even this slight dosage drop eventually pulled me down. For now I have to stay on 300 mg. every day. I’ll discuss this on my next doctor visit. (Dec.1)

ADJUSTING YOUR MIND

No, not physically adjusting it; mentally changing my train of thought from I can't do to I can do. I have this feeling inside that I can't handle something so I don't even try. It's almost like I am afraid of failing or feel like the goal is too unreachable. It's a difficult mindset and I know it is a type of rationalization but I can't seem to make any progress. If I do attempt to start working on a goal I can handle it for 3 or 4 days then I lose my perspective. I feel so bad that I can't get back on track. I think I really need someone to talk to who has my undivided attention Hubby can tune out almost anything so if I say anything of importance he only hears part of it or doesn't give me the full attention I want. We all need someone to motivate us.

TIME FOR FUN

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures."Henry Ward Beecher

"...procrastinating is hard work."

"Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures." - Horace Greeley

NEED ENERGIZED

I have discovered this week that it has been extremely hard to stay focused. I get up and feel like I have no energy. I determine that the next day will be better and when I wake up I can't always follow through. For example, my hubby was awake most of the night. He woke me up twice with loud screams due to leg cramps. That was bad enough but then he forgot to shut the alarm off and after ringing at least 3 times, I gave up on trying to get a full 8 hours of sleep. I did get up around 8:00 and took my Effexor and let it kick in. It took a couple of hours before I felt ready to face the world but know I am on track.

At times like this I wish I could turn a switch on and go full speed into manic mode. It sounds like a good option only I know that I can't get on the old roller coaster. When I ride the waves of bipolar without medicine I remember how I felt before going on medicine. I can't go back to that. It's too much of an emotional mood swing that leaves me completely out of focus.